Today is National Girlfriends’ Day, and it simply stands for a day that two lady friends cut time out of their busy schedules to get together. Some people have interpreted it equally as a day that a boyfriend get to take his girl out and spoil her alone with cares.
Some disagree claiming that it isn’t a day that ought to be shared with two friends alone and that it could also be a celebration of friendship and fun among a group of friends.
Regardless of how National Girlfriends’ Day is interpreted and spent, there are key things that in fact are very important in friendship that worth talking about on a day like this.
It’s great to get together, celebrate and have fun with your friends, but whether you are able to do that or not, certain values are expected in friendship and they are worth more than many years of going out to eat, drink and dance. Doing many of the points highlighted below will be more appreciated by a friend, and will in turn add value to the life of a friend that does it.
Here they are:
Honesty– It’s very important to be honest, but to someone you call a friend it is a duty. Try your possible best to be honest about things even when it means that it might not be well taken at the time.
Presentation is key- Just because you are trying to be honest doesn’t mean you should be brutal. Honesty, by itself, is very brutal. Don’t load up. Be tender, be genuine, and let it come from a place of love.
Fact or Feeling?– When presenting what you think is honesty, did you stop to think if this is a fact or your feelings? Did you think it? Then say so: “I thought that..” Did you dream it? Then say just that.
Did you access a privileged information, and thought it’s important to share? Then exercise judgment. If such information is given to you in confidence, and your friend is potentially in danger, you owe them a moral obligation to share. If such friends trust and respect you, you both would come up with a plan to close all loops.
When your friend is also your boss, business partner, or your in-laws, it’s advisable to identify which relationship is by default dominant, for that’s the one you ought to upgrade and manage. Running both on the same degree potentially conflicts, and that’s a recipe for a hot bitter soup that could burn your tongue or run your stomach.
Be There– We are all busy, but it’s important to be there for someone you call your friend. Though we live within a crowd; in a very dense population, we can be as lonely as hell. Reach out. Some friends won’t ask for help by their very nature, so be prepared to offer.
Cowardice or Diplomacy? If your friend asks you for something and you know you can’t do it, say so. Don’t make things up to make them feel good about you. “ Oh, but I don’t want to hurt feelings…” You are in fact hurting feelings big time, and you are only postponing the day such feelings will be manifested. When it does, it could explode and become unmanageable with your character and integrity on the line. Similarly, don’t give a cold or silence response to request. Be forthcoming, and again be honest about what you can or can’t do.
Periodic Reflection– Nothing is static. People change. We seek growth in our lives and therefore we’d often outgrow a friendship. Periodically reflecting on why you are friending your friend would go a long way in the attention and care you put in to nurturing such friendship.
Do you constantly want exactly what your friend has or want? Then you might have a problem that requires critical thinking on why. Deal with the root of this as soon as you can since it can be serious. Chances are that you are dealing with some sense of insecurity or self esteem issue which is activating jealousy. There’s no need to feel that you have to constantly run to catch up with your friends’ energy. Achievement isn’t always by sweat, but also by grace. Just don’t sit on your butt and keep asking for it.
Take one, leave two – Does your friend now has a friend that you feel is in the way of your friendship? If so, how might you deal with that? Culturally, I don’t dance Tango, but I once learned it, and always wondered then what it’ll look like were three people dancing it. It’ll still be a dance, but won’t be Tango as we know it. Apart from the dancers’ natural ability to dance, Tango involves submission and trust, leadership, responsibility, and care. When the third person knocks to dance this Tango, it’s not up to you alone to say no. You’ve got to relax and observe your friend’s feel for it too. Overtime, that dance would either remain a Tango with one person moving on, or it becomes a triangle dance. Enjoy it and go with the flow. If you really need a Tango at this point, you’ll need a new Tango partner.
In conclusion, most friends have grown to become inseparable and perhaps much closer than each of their family members. But as we also know, a lot of hurts and wounds are caused by the very people we often refer to as friends. Today isn’t a day to remember the ones that hurt, but to celebrate the ones we have; to nurture and strengthen the bond, and also to build new ones. Take notes of the above 10 points and you are on your way to keeping your best friends.
Happy National Girlfriends’ Day!