Hard work, dedication, commitment, perseverance, and grit are all key factors that contribute to your success in life; but there’s one primary attribute that’s often overlooked — assertiveness.
Assertiveness is the show of confidence and courage to speak up and make your ideas and opinion known (and count).
Have you wondered why some people have the natural tendency to command respect from others? Others have a way of speaking in a way that’d make people listen and follow their line of thoughts.
Being assertive is critical in your success journey — the route to success and accomplishment is not for the weak and feeble minds.
You’ve got to speak up and make known your thoughts!
Yes, developing this trait may be hard — especially if you’re shy with the phlegmatic temperament.
Regardless of your temperament and upbringing, you can always improve and become more assertive.
To be assertive with anyone, you’ve got to
1. Decide to be assertive: Every habit starts with a decision. You’ve got to decide to be assertive.
Enough of the tension, enough of the negativity, and enough of the insecurity.
Yes, at some point you may feel nervous — that’s normal, and you can always work on it.
Today, take the first step. Decide to be assertive with anyone you meet.
2. Maintain calmness of the body and mind: Let’s face it, you won’t achieve much if you’re unsteady.
Before you talk, you’ve got to collect your thoughts and let them settle.
Doubts and negative thoughts have a way of letting you lose control of your words and emotions. Therefore, to take control of yourself, you’ve got to let go of any form of negativity.
In situations where you’re talking about topics you’re passionate about, let go of your emotions and remain calm throughout the conversation. If you make your feeling get in the way, you may lose control of your cool.
3. Condition yourself to speak around family and close friends: Before you’d be able to master your voice and take charge of your conversation, you’ve got to start speaking out around people who are close to you.
This step is critical as it would help you subdue unnecessary anxiety and public tension. And when you’re pretty much okay with people around you, move out of the comfort zone and speak out around strangers and among people in public spaces.
For starters, you can begin by making casual comments on things in the family. For instance, you may praise your mum (or the chef) by saying “the meal is tasty” or something casual.
These casual comments don’t lead to any real challenge or negative feedback, and you’d use it to build your self-confidence by suppressing negative thoughts in your head.
4. Use an assertive and bold tone to speak up: Generally, people don’t listen to quiet people because of the negative body signal they send.
Speaking is one form of communication. And to be heard in a noisy world, you’ve got send a positive signal both in your verbal and nonverbal communication.
Here’s the thing — there’s a significant difference between being assertive and being overbearing. Learn the former and take your communication skills to the next level.
Effective communication is making your opinion heard in a noisy world. And to get good at it, you’ve to practice, practice, and practice.
You can start today by maintaining calmness, speaking up in a close family setting, and taking it to the next level by developing a bold voice.
With time, you’d evolve into a master communicator.