Why it is Difficult to Find Real Friends: How to Find Good Friend


The world seems more connected than ever. However, finding genuine, long-lasting friendships can still be challenging. The pursuit of authentic connections amidst a sea of superficial interactions can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disheartened. But don’t fret because true friendships exist, and with the right approach, you can find a good friend who will stand by your side through thick and thin. 

Let’s explore why finding real friends is difficult and uncover the secrets to building meaningful connections that will enrich your life.

1. Illusion of Social Media

The rise of social media has brought us closer in some ways, but it has also given birth to the illusion of friendships. The number of likes, comments, and virtual interactions can give a false sense of belonging, leading us to believe we have a vast network of friends. However, real connections go beyond virtual likes and require genuine time and effort.

2. Fear of Vulnerability

Opening up to others and showing our vulnerabilities can be daunting. Fear of judgment or rejection often holds us back from forming deeper connections. We are not wrong to feel restrained in that regard because foes pretend to be friends. However, Vulnerability is the foundation of authentic friendships. The extent to which you show your imperfections determines how solid a friendship can exist.

3. Busy Lives and Time Constraints

In our fast-paced world, time is a precious commodity. Balancing work, family, and personal commitments can leave little room for nurturing new friendships. But it is of essence to make time to socialize and experiences meaningful connections.

“Putting in time, effort, and intention is the key; showing up and spending time is crucial to building those important friendships.” Sileo said.

4. Superficial Interactions

Many of our daily interactions are superficial and transactional. We exchange pleasantries without delving into deeper conversations. Building true friendships requires taking the initiative to go beyond small talk and show real interest in others.

5. Shifting Priorities and Life Stages

As we grow older, our priorities and life stages change. Finding friends with the same interests and goals may become challenging. With new opportunities come like-minded individuals with whom you can engage and share an aligned passion.

6. Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection can hinder you from taking the first step toward forming new friendships. Not everyone will like or vibe with your personality, and vice versa. Rejection is a natural part of life and does not define your worth. Expect the possibility of rejection, knowing it paves the way to finding genuine connections.

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How to Find a Good Friend

  • Be Your Authentic Self

The key to forming meaningful friendships is authenticity. Being genuine enough to wear your heart on your sleeve is true authenticity. And don’t be afraid to show your true self. Let others see your vulnerabilities and strengths, opening the door to real connections. In order words, you attract who you are.

  • Be Open and Approachable

Approach potential friends with an open heart and a warm smile. Be approachable, and don’t hesitate to initiate conversations. Be genuinely interested in others’ stories and experiences.

  • Engage in Activities You Love

Join clubs, organizations, or social gatherings that align with your interests and passions. Engaging in activities you love will naturally connect you with like-minded individuals who share your enthusiasm.

  • Cultivate Empathy and Active Listening

Be empathetic towards others’ feelings and experiences. Practice active listening and show interest in their lives. This does not mean encroaching but that you care. Taking the time to listen and understand others will strengthen your bond and foster trust.

  • Offer Support and be a Good Friend

Be there for your friends in both good and challenging times. Offer your support and lend a helping hand when needed. Being a good friend is about being present and showing you care.

  • Show Vulnerability

Being vulnerable with someone to an extent is a sign of true friendship potential. Share your thoughts and feelings with those you trust, and encourage your friends to do the same. Vulnerability deepens connections and creates a safe space for authentic sharing.

  • Be Patient

Building strong friendships takes time. Be patient, and don’t rush the process. True connections grow and strengthen over time, so allow your friendships to evolve naturally.

Bottom line

While finding real friends may have its challenges, it is undoubtedly worth the effort. Be authentic, maintain openness to new experiences, and cultivate empathy in your interactions with people. Don’t push but stay persistent. True friendships require time, vulnerability, and reciprocity. As you open your heart to meaningful connections, you will find kindred spirits who will enrich your life and stand by you through every twist and turn. 

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Temitope Ogunsanya is a contributor for AfroGistMedia with a passion for storytelling. She captures valuable insights to drive a cohesive reader experience.


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